Daily Archives: 12/06/2006


Thus far, I’m pleased with the changes that I’ve made in my life since the death of my father.

Death and grief have a tremendous effect on those left behind. I’m living proof.

I could have turned to drugs and liquor, gambling, or any one of a number of different vices.

However, I haven’t.

I’ve turned to God, the bible, and prayer. That’s a turn in the right direction.

I took the time I needed to mourn for my father. It is not over. It’s far from over. But, I’m slowly starting to get back to normal. I’m not trying to rush it. But I feel I’m slowly starting to ‘come out of it’.

The difficulties of last Friday and Saturday have not returned. I cried some since then, but not uncontrolably as I did Saturday at least two times. I’m sure it will happen again. It’s all part of the process.

But somehow, over the last day or so, I feel that I’m reentering society and the real world. I’m slowly getting the energy and desire to do something. And I’m finally starting to act on it.

I can’t help but think that my problem on Saturday might have been based in guilt. I felt the desire to work on re-doing my office and to do something constructive and positive.

Perhaps, something inside me scoffed at that. Perhaps something pulled at me in a quiet voice saying, “How can you do that! Your Dad died only 6 weeks ago! Going forth and doing those things you want keeps you busy. You should still be sitting around doing nothing but feeling sorry for yourself.”

That’s just a thought. But I know this – my Dad would want me living life to the fullest. He’d want me to remain active and busy. He’d want me to continue using my brain; not sitting there letting it turn to mush.

He’d want me to do what I’m doing right now. He’d support my plans to attend bible college. He’d support my plans to read and study the bible. He’s support my plans on changing my inner being and becoming a better person and a better Christian.

Thanks, Dad. I miss you very much and always will. I’ll hold on forever to my memories of you. I’ll tell your great grandson about you. I’ll keep my promise that I made to you that I wanted to be more like you. I want my son and grandson to look up to me, the way I looked up to you. You’ve made me what I am today and have given me the desire to be like you. That’s the greatest gift you’ve given me. Your love and total support was always appreciated.

It’s ashame that it took me 57 1/2 years to realize that what I really wanted in life was to be exactly like you.

Memory Verse: Matthew 10:24

Currently I’m reading Matthew, the first book of the New Testament. I’ll be posting a verse or series of verses that I find worthy of memorization. While many people use various translations, I’m from the old school. I believe that any scripture memorization should only be from the King James Version.

  • Matthew 10:24 KJV The disciple is not above his master, nor the servant above his lord.

    Gill states:
    Mat 10:24 – The disciple is not above his master, So far from it, that he is inferior to him; as in knowledge, so in reputation and character; and cannot expect the same honour to be given him, and the same respect shown to him, as to his master; and therefore if his master is not used with that decency, and in that becoming manner he ought to be, he must not think it any hardship if he is treated in the same way. Our Lord hereby intends to fortify the minds of his disciples against all the reproach and persecution they were to meet with from the world, by observing to them the treatment he himself met with; wherefore, if he who was their master, a teacher that came from God, and taught as never man did, and was worthy of the utmost deference that could be paid, was maligned and evilly treated by men, it became them who were his disciples, to look for, and patiently bear such indignities; since they could expect no better usage than he himself had: the same doctrine is suggested in the next clause,

    nor the servant above his Lord
    ; and both seem to be proverbial expressions. The Jews have a saying (h) much like unto them, no servant is worthier than his master; and Christ might make use of such common, well known expressions, that he might be the more easily understood, and in the most familiar manner convey what he intended, into the minds of his disciples; as, that since he was their Lord, and they were his servants, if his superior character and dignity did not secure him from the obloquy and insults of men, it could not be thought by them, who were inferior to him, that they should escape them.

  • Preacher’s Sermon & Outline Bible

    I just called Scripture Truth Book Company to check on the order I place about two weeks ago for the complete New Testament (14 volumes) + the first seven publications of the Old Testament.

    This was the KJV set I ordered in loose leaf binder format.

    I was told the entire order, with the except of one volume has already been shipped to me. I should receive it in a few days. The other volume will be sent when it arrives.

    I can’t wait to get this fantastic bible collection.

    I need to make more space in my office for all of my books. I have a huge collection of genealogy books, chess problem books, horror books & magazines (although I’m currently not interested in horror), conservative politics books, and naturally, an ever-increasing, collection of bibles, study bibles, commentaries and other bible & religion books.

    I’ll have to take a photo of my current setup. I really don’t have a ‘bookshelf’ (in the strict sense of the word) in my office.

    I’m going out this morning to see about purchasing a few bookshelves. I’ve taken all of the measurements of the space in the office and feel I can, by removing the ‘entertainment’ unit which is currently serving as a make-shift bookshelf, put three bookshelves into that space. It will take a little effort to get everything in. The office might then be a little more cramped; however, it would be nice to have all of my books in my office.

    Currently, many of my genealogy books & horror books are sitting in boxes in another room and my chess problem books are stored in boxes in the attic. That’s certainly no place for my chess problem books considering how hot it gets up there. I’m also debating selling my entire collect of chess problem books and magazines as I’ve lost interest in the hobby. I could probably fetch a pretty good price for this collection which then (and don’t tell my wife), could be used to buy more books.

    As I’ve also lost interest in reading and writing horror, these books might also be given away to my son.